To The Pharmacist Who Judged Me For Requesting My Prescription Medication

Perhaps you thought that someone so young and healthy-looking could never actually need a medication. There's something you may not know. It's a secret I hold within me, one that is not clearly evident upon first glance. I am chronically ill. I have multiple disease that have wreaked havoc on my body, forcing me to depend on medications. Yes, you read that correctly. I am dependent on medications. You see, without my medications there is a large likelihood that I would, in fact, die. One of these life-saving medications is the one you so tactlessly judged me for requesting.

Would you believe me if I had told you that I was less than a week post-op? Probably not. To the world's standards, I looked well. My hair was done, my outfit was nice, and I even had lipstick on. But health is easy to fake, and a smile can hide pain and the inability to eat.

Perhaps you viewed me as a drug-seeker. Let me educate you about myself. I am a stubborn, health-conscious, and vibrant individual. I hate eating junk food. I hate when my body forces me to lay in bed all day, stripping me of the ability to get my blood flowing and "exercise". I also strongly dislike taking medicine. If there were any way possible for me to gain a semblance of health back, without the use of pills and injections, you can bet Sam Hill I would be doing it. If there was a magic food or drink to stop my body from attacking itself, I would be ingesting it. If there were special yoga moves that would correct my faulty autonomic nervous system, I would be doing it. If positive thinking healed my paralyzed stomach, my mind would be full of puppies and unicorns.

But there isn't. There is no natural, magical cure. So I am forced to depend on harmful, and sometimes crippling, medications to achieve a measure of quality of life.

Please, don't judge me. You do not know the battle I face everyday. This life isn't easy, you know. Chances are, I am already judging myself enough for the two of us. Please, keep your comments to yourself and let me refill my prescriptions in peace.

#crohns #disability #ableism #gastroparesis #chronicillness #surgery #invisibleillness #dysautonomia